Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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