New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
