I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
