Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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