Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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