R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
