I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
cat food counts as protein by the way
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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