she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
