u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need a burrito and a hug.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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