I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
