Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
