Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
