out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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