haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
worst night to have a conscience
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
