the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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