Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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