The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
