God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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