Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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