I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
