i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize