So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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