I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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