Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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