the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
