I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
