put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
