my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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