I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize