please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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