I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So much Jack, so little girl.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
