Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
