You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A bitchslap is in order.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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