# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
