he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize