she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
