In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
