Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
