is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
