so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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