I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
