i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
