Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
