Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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