Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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