So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
