I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
