I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You work out of a Hotel?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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