have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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