This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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