I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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