He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize