There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
