It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
