Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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