the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
