That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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