But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
