no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Congratulations! We have a period
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
