We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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