Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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