i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You can't special order awesome
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
