Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
